In today’s ever-increasing technological world, it is often difficult for parents to find the time to discuss important matters with their children. Between school, work, sports practice, and all the other extra-curricular activities, it can be challenging to find a time when you and your children are in the right mindset to talk about topics such as the dangers of drugs and alcohol, dating and relationships, and sex.
Many dads find it difficult to have “the talk” with their children because their own parents never really had the talk with them. Others find it embarrassing to talk to their kids about sex or believe it is the school’s job to teach them about it. However, if parents do not open the dialogue and teach their children about human sexuality, then they will learn about it from somewhere else, such as from other kids, sitcoms, or worse. And you can be sure that these other informants of sex education will not speak about human sexuality through the lens of Catholic teachings, which reverences the sanctity of sex within marriage. Instead, today’s youth are subject to the false prophets of hedonistic propaganda and the idea that sex is just another form of recreation available to anyone.
The impact of this misguided formation is clear. For example, according to GuardChild, a website dedicated to protecting children during the digital age,
- 44% of tweens admitted to watching content online that their parents would not approve of (only 28% of parents were aware of this)
- 17% of tweens admitted to receiving emails or other online messages with pictures or words that made them feel uncomfortable (only 7% of parents were aware of this)
- 22% of teenage girls say they have posted nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves online
- 70% of children aged 7 to 18 have accidentally encountered online pornography, often through a web search while doing homework
- The largest consumers of internet pornography are children ages 12 to 17
- 90% of all children aged 8 to 16 have seen online pornography
As the data implies, it is not a question about if your children will be exposed to online pornography, but when will they be exposed. Learn about how to protect your children and family from pornography with this online video by Covenant Eyes.
While having “the talk” may be uncomfortable, it is absolutely necessary for keeping our children safe. Children who are exposed to pornography can:
- Become “de-sensitized” to pornography exposure, which can result in acting out sexualized behaviors with other children and/or engaging in high-risk sexual experiences as adolescents
- Develop a sexual addiction
- Form unhealthy expectations of sexuality
One of the most important things to remember when attempting to have “the talk” with your children is that it is not one big talk, but rather a series of discussions. As your child gets older, the content of the dialogue will shift to meet their emotional and developmental needs. As parents, it is okay not to have all the answers. “The talk” is more of a journey than a destination. Use it as an avenue to further develop your relationship with your child and to open the line of communication for future talks and issues. By engaging in the dialogue with your child, you help lay the foundation for their understanding of sexuality and the role it has in our relationship with God.
Challenge:
Write or think about your experiences with your parents and “the talk”. Did you have one? How did you learn about human sexuality? How would you like your child’s experience to differ from yours?
Resources:
To help you start talking with your child at a young age (9 yrs or older), use the book titled, Wonderfully Made! Babies: A Catholic Perspective on How and Why God Makes Babies by Ellen Giangiordano.
To learn more about what the Catholic Church teaches on true meaning of human sexuality, take some time to read The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality: Guidelines for Education within the Family by the Pontifical Council for the Family, 1995.