You are called to be a priest! Just kidding. I cannot answer that question for you; however, I do believe God wanted you to find this post. Whether you are considering the priesthood, marriage, or the prospect of moving to a new city and buying a pet hedgehog, I pray that this discernment series helps you feel encouraged on that journey of self-discovery and decision-making. In the next three posts, we will consider what fosters a good foundation when discerning (Discernment: Covering your bases); explore how to go about the work of discernment (Discernment: How to discern well); and take a more intentional look at discerning a vocation to marriage, priesthood, etc. (Discernment: What’s my vocation?).
If you have been Catholic for more than a few months, you have likely heard the term “discernment” used in church, ministry, or social settings. Conversations about discernment often go hand in hand with discussions about priesthood and religious vocations, but discernment is about so much more than that. At its core, discernment is about making informed decisions in our lives, which raises the question: What should inform the decisions I make?
What informs my decisions?
A good basis for discernment is built on a person’s faith, morals, values, and vocations. These dimensions encourage us to explore virtue in our discernment and offer something to consider while we try to make decisions that keep us in right relationship with God, our neighbor, and ourselves. Ultimately, our faith should be the foundation for discernment. If we are not seeking to make decisions aligned with our Catholic faith, then we are like the man in the Bible who built his house on sand – “The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined” (Matthew 7:27). On the other hand, when we let our faith inform our decisions and “seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33), God promises to provide for us. Additionally, faith supplies a framework for our morals, which can also support our discernment.
Morals involve our understanding of what is right and wrong. St Thomas Aquinas tells us that we can know what is morally good by paying attention to an object’s intention (the end goal), action (the moral object we are considering), and circumstances (the when, where, and how surrounding the moral object). For example, let’s say I am considering marriage, and my intention behind marriage is similar to Tobit’s – “not taking this sister of mine because of lust, but with sincerity… that I may find mercy and may grow old together with her” (Tobit 8:7). This intention is good. The action of marriage is also good, as the Bible reminds us in the book of Genesis. However, let us suppose that when I consider the circumstances, I recall that the woman I intend to marry is already married to another man. Since she is not free to marry, it would be morally wrong to marry her, even though my intentions and actions are good.
Another element that can further support discernment is our values. Values are different than morals in that they involve what is important to us and/or our community. While morals help us determine what is right and wrong, values help us know what may be right or wrong for me personally. Perhaps I value family and financial stability, but I am considering a university in another state and want to take out loans to cover my expenses. While my faith and morals may not have much to say about this, my values may direct me to choose a college closer to home or to research a work-study program to help me avoid student debt.
Finally, we should also pay attention to our vocations as we make decisions in our lives. Many of us hear the word “vocations” and automatically think of the priesthood. While the priesthood is an essential vocation in the Catholic Church that requires discernment, limiting the discussion to the priesthood really shortchanges the richness of vocations. There are actually three levels of vocation that we can consider in discernment:
- Primary vocation – holiness
- Secondary vocation (also referred to as our “state in life”) – marriage, priesthood, religious life, singleness
- Third vocation – meaningful work and leisure (i.e., career, service, play, etc.)
Knowing my responsibilities within each of my vocational calls helps me discern what I can and cannot commit myself to.
What does discernment require?
Taking all of these things into account, we may recognize that discernment is not something that just happens on its own. It requires active participation and intentionality. If we want to make faithful and moral decisions, we need a rational mind, a well-formed conscience, and an intentional spiritual life. These help us to know what our faith teaches and use reason and prayer to make judgments about the decisions set before us. Reflection and self-awareness also let us be more attentive to our own faith, morals, values, and vocations. Sometimes, this is difficult to navigate on our own. That is why discernment also requires the support of others.
As with everything in life, discernment does not happen in a vacuum. Friends, families, spiritual directors, counselors, and even the random old ladies who pray for us at the church can each support us in making informed decisions. We are not alone! Even when we feel alone, Jesus, the Saints, and our guardian angels are always available to help us.
You may be thinking to yourself, That’s all well and good, but now that I understand what discernment requires and all the things I need to pay attention to, I feel more anxious! If that is you, I encourage you to stick around for the next post in our discernment series, Discernment: How to Discern Well. Also, if you would like to hear more about my own experience discerning, check out this webinar I did with Liz Bencivengo – https://youtu.be/1sUZxunwzrU?si=htWCUiknVFK8XTlE