Parents, do any of these statements sound familiar?
- Why do I have to do my homework now? I am in the middle of game … leave me alone!
- WHY am I in trouble? HE’s the ONE who started it!
- NONE of my friends have these rules … Why are YOU so unfair?
- WHY do you have to meet my friends? DON’T you trust me?
- But I wanna play! WHY do I HAVE to get ready for bed now?
Many parents in today’s culture find themselves scattered and overwhelmed in their efforts at raising respectful and responsible children. In today’s culture, things are busier than in years past and parents find themselves navigating various challenging, stressful circumstances (e.g., COVID restrictions, on-line schooling, increase in screen time, etc..). These challenges can blind parents from their positive purpose and noble vision in raising their children. As a result, parents can become defined by their stressful circumstances, causing reactive parenting versus proactive parenting. As one parent put it, “I am just trying to make it to the end of the day without losing my stuff!”
Parenthood is meant to be so much more than just getting to the end of the day. It is one of the most important, if not most important, life pursuits we can experience. In raising a family, we encounter a love and closeness unlike any other. How then, can we counterbalance the stressors and challenges of our day to day circumstances so we maintain the inherent joy in parenthood? The answer involves a shift in the mindset of parents.
Since it is our job to guide our children, we ought to ask ourselves, what is guiding us? If it is our day to day circumstances, harried schedule and exhausted mood, then we are not achieving our potential as parents. On the other hand, if we shift our mindset and seek to be guided by a positive aim and noble vision, we become visionary leaders in our families. The values grounded framework guides parents in creating and maintaining a secure, stable, and loving family culture that their children can count on in an otherwise stressful, ever changing world.
Values Grounded Parenting is a new book that provides a way for parents to reclaim the joy of parenthood. It provides a practical and unique framework for raising respectful, responsible and healthy children. The book outlines 4 Pillars: Pillar I – Vision, Values, and Family Culture; Pillar II – The 5 C’s to Effective Values Grounded Parenting; Pillar III –Boundaries and Discipline; and Pillar IV – Productive Conflict and Mistake Making.
Discipline and boundary setting, one of the more difficult aspects to parenting, is addressed in detail. The focus is on providing clear, firm boundaries and consequences that are purposeful and teach values grounded lessons. The idea is to help children ground themselves in their values (use their values to guide their decision making and behavior) otherwise they are likely to be grounded by others. This approach to discipline provides a firm, meaningful experience of discipline that is protective and purposeful without being punitive and shame based.
There are plenty of real world examples from each Pillar, highlighting key principles and practices. The reader can see what the various concepts look like on a day to day basis. Also, there are plenty of activities that parents and children can participate in to help grow their values grounded culture. For example, the Family Culture Board activity guides parents and kids to create a unique culture board that highlights the values and strengths within their family.
Authored by Dr. Michael Redivo, a Clinical Member of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association, this book integrates best practices in parenting, a compilation of research, and positive behavior management strategies. Rather than relying on your circumstances to define the direction of your family, use this unique framework to lead them towards growing up versus growing down. See how this book can help you put the joy back into parenting.
Check out the book here or learn more about Dr. Redivo’s work at www.valuesgrounded.com.